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Washington Women’s Heritage Project records, 1900-2000 
University of Washington Libraries Special Collections 
Alice Shale Newton 
1981 
Cassette 1, Side 1 
 
 
Alice Newton  00:03 
Oh, I used to stay with her and eat all kinds of Indian food. You know, she ate [inaudible] I ate 
whale, whale meat, and seal meat, and all kinds of dried, you know, dried deer meat and elk meat 
and fish. You know, that that was my goodies, you know. When we used to-- all of us, Pat and a 
bunch of us, we used to walk up the river, you know, and then we'd cut across and then go down 
ocean and come down that way and make all kinds of excursions. And we used to fill our pants, 
fill our pockets up with dried meat and dried fish and dried fat -- you know, strips of fat? And eat 
berries and stuff like that along the way. 
 
Winona Weber  00:48 
Where would she get a whale? 
 
Alice Newton  00:50 
I don't know where they ever get whales. But they had-- she had whale meat and seal meat and 
all that stuff. Seal oil, you know, for potatoes.  
 
Winona Weber  00:58 
I didn't know the Quinaults ate whale.  
 
Alice Newton  01:01 
They did then.  
 
Jill G. Smith  01:03 
We always had it [inaudible].  
 
Friend of Alice  01:03 
Near there they still have it. They still fry it, like, one inch by one inch and you fry it and-- just 
real crispy. And then when you bite into it, it just pops, it's just like that kind of squirty gum. 
 
Alice Newton  01:20 
But see [?Chi'a?] was-- see, um-- 
 
Jill G. Smith  01:24 
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Wish I had a little swivel. 
 
Alice Newton  01:27 
After her brother died, that was Chief Billy Mason? Well, [?Hooputem?] was supposed to be the 
Chief then, but he was an alcoholic and irresponsible, so my grandmother took over. And she 
used to always make it her business. That's why my dad and a bunch of them used to hunt and 
stuff like that. And I imagine that's where they got the whale, I don't know. But they'd get a 
bunch of deer and she'd do a lot of canning. And then in the wintertime when a lot of people 
would have a hard time, well she-- I remember she used to fill her basket and she used to pack it 
with a band around her head. And she fill that-- I remember she'd fill that basket up and spend 
almost all one day there. She'd spend a lot of time, you know, going to different families and 
leaving them food. But that was-- she felt that was her responsibility, you know.  
 
Winona Weber  02:15 
All around Taholah?  
 
Alice Newton  02:16 
Uh-huh. anybody that was having a hard time, you know. And that was always her duty, or she 
felt it was her duty to do that. 
 
Friend of Alice  02:24 
Then another thing she always did was whenever anyone had a baby or anything, she always 
made baskets and get bolts of flannel. And she would make diapers and sew it all up by hand and 
make gowns. And when they'd bring the baby home then she would have a care package already 
filled out. But if the baby was a girl, the father could not work or-- could not fish on the river for 
10 days. And if it was a boy, it was seven days.  
 
Winona Weber  02:58 
Wonder why the difference. 
 
Alice Newton  02:59 
I don't know.  
 
Friend of Alice  03:00 
That was just the tradition of the of the reserve.  
 
Winona Weber  03:03 
For the Quinaults? 
 
Friend of Alice  03:04 
Mm-hmm. I don't know if it's amongst any of the other tribes, but it is-- it was ours. But now I 
don't think people even care. 
 
Winona Weber  03:16 
No, I haven't heard of that... In my lifetime, I've never heard of it. 
 
Page 3 of 13 
 
Alice Newton  03:23 
But she always had clothes, too, 'cause she'd make baskets and then we'd go into town and she 
had different outlets there that she'd [inaudible] the baskets and get a bunch of clothes, you 
know, pass 'em around. But my grandmother she had a birthday party for me at the mess hall 
every year. And man I just-- boy I'd just really rake in the old time gifts. I wish I would have 
kept them, you know, 'cause they... Baskets, you know, and bolts of cloth and things like that. 
But they'd have big meals there for one whole day and for my birthday, I remember that one.  
 
Winona Weber  03:59 
The celebration. 
 
Alice Newton  04:00 
Uh-huh. And 'cause I was-- I guess the only kind of granddaughter that my grandmother had at 
that time, you know. And they just really made over me. I was just queen of the roost. 
[Laughter.] Right to [inaudible] my money and then we'd all-- meat man used to come, you 
know. I don't know, did he come once a week or one [inaudible]?  
 
04:21 
Once a week. 
 
Alice Newton  04:22 
Once a week. And then, remember, we'd b-- I bought-- I used to like raw hamburger. And I 
bought wieners for everybody. I spent my-- I don't know, I forget how much I had, but I spent it 
all with the meat man buying wieners for everybody [laughs]. But my grandmother was real 
neat. I just-- I had the run of the place, you know. I had my own store bill and everything, I 
could...  
 
Friend of Alice  04:47 
Remember the time you took [?Chicha?] down to the store and you've seen up on the shelf they 
had apricots?  
 
Alice Newton  04:56 
No, it was pineapple.  
 
Friend of Alice  04:58 
And it was sweet potatoes.  
 
Alice Newton  05:00 
Well, I was always making mistakes because I had my own store bill, you know. And I could 
only associate colors with the cans, because another time I went down, and I knew that Dole 
pineapples had-- was a green and yellow can. So that was when I was about four or five years, 
might have been about three, four, maybe. Anyhow, I went down there, and I looked all on the 
shelf, and Mrs. Rogers said, "What do you want, little Alice?" And I said, "Wait, I better find it 
first." And I looked at all things. Finally I spotted a yellow and blue can and I got three of them. 
And it was Dutch cleanser. [Laughter.] 
 
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Winona Weber  05:38 
Oh, that's terrible. 
 
Alice Newton  05:39 
Then the other time I got, like she said, I got apricots, I thought I was getting apricots, and I got 
sweet potatoes. But I never thought to ask, you know. 
 
Winona Weber  05:48 
That's terrible. 
 
Alice Newton  05:50 
But I used to always sit behind my grandmother and listen to them gossip, you know? Gossip 
around. And that's when I kind of learned how to talk a little bit of Indian, but not just 
[inaudible]-- I learned to understand. I mean, because I was real curious. 
 
Winona Weber  06:07 
Yeah. Were you discouraged at all from talking Indian? 
 
Alice Newton  06:13 
No.  
 
Winona Weber  06:14 
No?  
 
Alice Newton  06:14 
I wasn't discouraged or encouraged. I don't know why, I guess I just... I was al-- they always let 
me be my own person, you know. They never tried to tell me I couldn't do this, or I couldn't do 
that. And I know I never was selfish, I was only child and I was really badly spoiled, you know, 
really spoiled. And I never was selfish. I was always, I don't know, I just-- I think about it now 
and I never was that way; I'm not selfish now, even. 
 
Friend of Alice  06:47 
Yeah, that's true.  She liked to eat green apples. She used to like to drink the whole thing of 
Castoria. 
 
Alice Newton  06:58 
Oh yeah, [laughs] they fed me Castoria. 
 
Winona Weber  07:00 
Castoria? 
 
Alice Newton  07:02 
We used to go up in the summertime. 
 
Friend of Alice  07:05 
Green apple. Yes.  
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Alice Newton  07:08 
In the summertime, we used to go up to-- 
 
Friend of Alice  07:11 
Lake Quinault? 
 
Alice Newton  07:12 
--Lake Quinault and [?stay in?]. And my daddy and me, we used to fish and hunt, you know. 
And I used to process the meat and stuff and I used to go-- 
 
Friend of Alice  07:23 
Blackberries. 
 
Alice Newton  07:23 
--blackberry picking, and, you know, berry picking and stuff. And then she'd can all that stuff. 
And oh, I've got a bellyache, they should give me some Castoria. Man, I liked the taste of that. 
So-- 
 
Friend of Alice  07:37 
Castoria [laughs]. 
 
Alice Newton  07:37 
So it was sitting up there and I don't know why but I took and drank the whole bottle up there. 
And man did I ever have the runs. And then another time my dad just got a whole bunch of 
fishing gear, you know, sport fishing gear? Flies and all that, and he had it in one of them fishing 
boxes. And he was showing somebody, so I rode down with him to to lift his net. And he had 
that-- and I took it upon myself to fish for him out of his box, and here I threw everything out. 
[Inaudible] I told my dad, "We ought to have lot of fish when it comes out," because I was 
fishing all the way to the net. [Laughter.] But my dad never did get mad at me. He never did. 
Neither did my grandmother. And I don't know. I don't know whether kids are raised different 
then, or what but I never did think of-- I don't know, I never did think of doing wrong. I 
[?could?] dig in my grandma's purse, or anything. And I remember in her kind of basket room 
that my aunt went made for -- her she was always come down about once a year and clean 
[?Chi'a?]'s house -- was my grandma -- just to clean her house from stem to stern, and she finally 
got tired of picking up basket material in the living room. So she made that one room into a 
basket room, but under that whole--  
 
Friend of Alice  09:04 
Stairway.  
 
Alice Newton  09:05 
No, under that whole [?linoleum?], [?Chi'a?] had money.  
 
Friend of Alice  09:07 
Mm, yeah.  
Page 6 of 13 
 
 
Alice Newton  09:08 
I had bills under there. And I never did think of taking them, you know, or anything like that. 
Because I guess I could have almost anything I wanted. 
 
Friend of Alice  09:15 
Only thing I think we ever did take from [?Chicha?] was her smoked fish.  
 
Alice Newton  09:20 
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.  
 
Friend of Alice  09:23 
We always took that. And go set out in a boat... [Tape noises.]  
 
Alice Newton  09:26 
Oh! It slipped. [Tape noises.] I don't know, we never ate that much junk or anything like that 
either. We'd always-- our fun was going up-- you know, going up the river, hiking, and getting-- 
eating berries, and swimming and going down to the ocean. We-- remember our house that we 
had [?and logged?] there? We had-- always had dried meat and stuff like that in there to eat when 
we walked on the beach. Then one time-- we had that and we had all kinds of things in there, 
even a change of clothes if we got wet. Then one time after a big storm we went down there, it 
was [inaudible].  
 
Friend of Alice  09:55 
Mm-hmm.  Oh, [inaudible], yeah. I think-- I can remember [?Chicha?] real well. She would 
make a fire, she would make the fire. and then she would put everything on the stove and then 
she would go out for a walk, go visit. Come back, everything would be done [inaudible]. Never 
had to sit around the stove watching your cooking or anything else. 
 
Alice Newton  10:33 
She was-- she was real different, real self-efficient person. I don't think she [inaudible]; it seemed 
like she knew everything. Because she ran that reservation for I don't know how long. I think 
[?yeah, my uncle?] [inaudible] took it over. 
 
Friend of Alice  10:51 
Mm-hmm. 
 
Alice Newton  10:58 
Nobody interfered with her.  
 
Friend of Alice  11:01 
Mm-mm. 
 
Alice Newton  11:01 
As tiny as she was. Then my dad, he just, he lived a life [inaudible], you know. I guess that's how 
come my mom and dad didn't stay together, because my mom, she's pretty self-efficient. My dad, 
Page 7 of 13 
 
I think my grandma spoiled him, you know.  [Inaudible] when my dad used to get drunk, go out 
and get drunk, my grandmother never did get mad at him. She'd say, "Poor Malcolm, they made 
him drink." [Laughter.] And then she'd wait on him hand and foot. I think my grandmother raised 
my dad. But I stayed-- I'd stay with my grandma and my dad for a while and then-- then I'd go 
home when I needed some discipline, I guess. Because I really got it. [Laughter.] I used to have 
chores to do at home. I used to be able to weasel my way out of it, you know. But one time, I 
guess my mom thought I was old enough, you know, to start making things stick good. I didn't 
do my dishes when I was supposed to and I remember I can ne-- I will never forget that, Tailspin 
Tommy and I'd been waiting for I don't know how long. And I didn't do my dishes. And Mama 
told me if I didn't do my dishes, I couldn't go see Tailspin Tommy me and I didn't do my dishes. 
So I just couldn't believe she wasn't letting me. But when I was standing there with snot coming 
down my nose and tears and everything, [?I?] was washing dishes [laughs] I knew I couldn't see 
Tailspin-- I never did get to see it. And so then I began to realize that my mom meant what she 
said, you know.  
 
11:18 
[Inaudible.] 
 
Winona Weber  11:20 
What was Tailspin Tommy?  
 
Alice Newton  12:27 
That was about-- he was a pilot. They used to have him in the funny papers and then they made a 
show. But they used to have shows [?down at gym?].  
 
Winona Weber  12:47 
Oh.  
 
Alice Newton  12:48 
And it was free, you know. 
 
Friend of Alice  12:51 
[Inaudible], that was a dime. 
 
Alice Newton  12:54 
And they moved down to [?Pacific?] PB. Things were real good then. Kids never thought about 
getting drunk or smoking or anything, I don't think. 
 
Friend of Alice  13:06 
No. 
 
Alice Newton  13:07 
We just-- I don't know, we just had a real good childhood. I just-- I don't know. But it sure shows 
that your life later on no matter what, you know, your childhood and stuff like that is your 
molding, you know. And a Christian upbringing. I couldn't have ever-- I don't think I could have 
done a turn wrong unless I was raised the way I was.  Boy, after-- then after my dad and 
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grandmother died, well then, all the good things come to an end. We went to-- was during the 
war, then. So we went to Seattle. My mom worked in a shipyard and then I started skipping 
school and getting in trouble for skipping school and then they put me into juvenile. And then the 
second time I got to juvenile I think they put me in Martha Washington, that's a girls' [inaudible] 
institution. And I stayed there, but I've done real good there; I become House Captain and I was 
President of the Girls Club and all that. And I got my Red Cross certificate for Lifesaver. And I-- 
botany was my favorite subject matter; I really dedicated all my time to that.  
 
Friend of Alice  14:42 
Botany?  
 
Alice Newton  14:43 
Uh-huh. I really-- it really interested me, you know, and I had-- I worked in a greenhouse a lot 
and that-- you know -- I don't know what they call it -- potting, I guess, but it's-- you mix...  
 
Winona Weber  14:59 
Horticulture?  
 
Alice Newton  15:01 
No, it's in botany. You mix-- well, we had a great big compost, you know, where we put 
everything. 
 
Friend of Alice  15:07 
Soils? 
 
Alice Newton  15:07 
Yeah. And then then we mix that with dirt, 1/3 dirt and 1/3 compost and 1/3 peat moss and then 
we'd raise our own. And I had real hybrid stuff in my garden, because I just liked to mess 
around. Like the-- I-- that was one of my main things I liked, was botany and swimming. And we 
had all that-- 
 
Winona Weber  15:31 
Oh, yeah, I'll bet!  
 
Alice Newton  15:33 
Oh, yeah.  
 
Winona Weber  15:33 
Gee, it seems like you would have been good at swimming.  
 
Alice Newton  15:35 
Oh, I was. I was real good at swimming. And I always have been, till I got so fat [laughs]. All I 
do is smoke now. [Laughter.] Can't even [?think?].   But I enjoyed school there, and then-- but I 
just got in a lot of trouble. All my teenage years, you know, I was just in and out of institutions. I 
just couldn't cope. And I didn't do that much drinking either, but I just, I guess I just wasn't ever-- 
wasn't that much of a follower, you know. Because I was always a renegade. I was always on the 
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opposite side of the fence. Was a street kid, and you name it, I've done it, you know. And then, 
when I was 18, Danny and I got married. And then I-- 
 
Friend of Alice  15:49 
[Inaudible.]  
 
Alice Newton  16:15 
Yeah, then we lost two kids, you know, drinking and everything. We lost two kids through the 
port. I mean, they-- seemed like they was doing that to a lot of Indian people and taking their 
kids away for white families to take over. And we even-- I even put $14,000 in the Indian 
Agency so that, you know, we'd support them, so they couldn't take them away from us. But they 
did anyhow. And we lost sight of them. I mean, that was just really hard to take. I think that 
always bothered me, you know. And then we went into fish business we had, I don't know, we 
had about $10,000, then. And we went in the fish business. Because we thought being Indians, 
and that was our right and everything. So we bought fish, I don't know, from way up north of 
Seattle down around the peninsula. And you're in Oakville all week with them. And then it was 
18 hours a day. And then we'd take them down to [?Portland?]. But we just believed in what we 
were doing. You know, we didn't think the state could bother us. And we think we thought, I 
don't know, we thought we were gonna win out in the end. But then they kept busting us all the 
time for a little bit of everything, you know, till they-- and giving us fines till they just broke us 
financially. And that's when we went in the timber business. So we figured well, they beat us on 
that, but they ain't gonna beat us on our-- with our-- in our own land, you know. And so we went 
up and we went from fighting the state to fighting Rayonier, and the BIA. And I forget how long 
that went on. But we just kept on doing salvage work and then they start knocking down big 
timber. And we just kept on doing it, just out of pure, what do you call it? [Inaudible], or 
something. We just--  
 
Winona Weber  18:39 
Steadfast. 
 
Alice Newton  18:40 
Yeah, steadfast.  
 
Friend of Alice  18:41 
Perseverance.  
 
Alice Newton  18:43 
Something like that. Anyhow we just kept hanging in there, you know. And even we had to get 
physical. They used to come up there when they thought we weren't there and try to count the 
logs we cut down and things like that. The BIA and Rayonier. And they kept doing that every 
time we'd go down and get groceries or something, they'd sneak up there. So they must have 
been watching us, you know when we leave. So one time Danny went down and I stayed at the 
little trailer we had up there. And so some of them scalers come up, and were scaling our logs, 
you know, from the BIA? And they had one of them BIA trucks. So I was only one there, so I 
figured, hey, I'll fix them. So I took a five pound thing of sugar and went out there and put it in 
their gas tank and took my gun and fired it up in the air and told them to get the hell out of there. 
Page 10 of 13 
 
Boy, they come running out, jumped in their truck and backed out. They got down the bottom of 
the hill. They had to walk up and it was [inaudible] [laughs].  
 
Winona Weber  18:59 
Who did that?  
 
Friend of Alice  19:56 
Oh, jeez. 
 
Alice Newton  19:57 
I thought maybe they'd come back you know and see, but... We never did get no repercussions 
for that. You know, they-- because I don't think they had any right up there anyhow. And we 
never got no repercussion from it anyhow. And we just kept fighting them. And we just made 
enough, you know, to keep us going. And then they tried to put an injunction against us, and we 
wouldn't honor it. So when we finally went to court, well, I think we had four witnesses in the 
BIA and Rayonier had 43 or something like that.  
 
Jill G. Smith  20:33 
I believe it.  
 
Alice Newton  20:33 
And we went to court, and they had all their witnesses, and we went up there. And they 
insinuated that I was, what did they say? Oh, "She's crazy like a f--," oh, "She's dumb like a fox." 
They told-- they said about me [laughs].  
 
Friend of Alice  20:54 
Yeah. 
 
Alice Newton  20:55 
That-- I tried to put on that dumbo Indian lady act, you know, but I wasn't that dumb, but I wasn't 
that smart. I just told them I just state facts, you know, the way I feel. And I was fighting for 
what I thought was my right, you know. So they went through-- that's when he said I was dumb 
like a fox, after I got through making my testimony, you know. So we had judge Gus Solomon, 
and he, after it was all over, well, he said that he got tired of his people getting the short end. 
You know, he called us. That's what I thought was real neat, because he called us, you know, 
"his people." I imagine because we were-- he was of Jewish descent. So I think he considered us 
all minorities, you know. That's why we were his people. And he said that he didn't point it out to 
them where they were taking us for a ride, you know? And you said he couldn't decide no other 
way but in our favor. And boy, you should have seen them. 
 
Winona Weber  22:07 
Oh, yeah. What was the particulars of that case? What was Rayonier trying to do to you?  
 
Alice Newton  22:15 
Well, we felt that in that contract, in that contract, I signed that contract before I was-- when I 
was 18 years old, and I wasn't married. You know, and I considered, or we considered me a 
Page 11 of 13 
 
minor, Danny and I, and not of age, you know, to sign a legal contract like that. And that's, that's 
the stand we took. And they said, we were, and there was a lot of-- we've done our own research, 
Danny and I. And we found out that some of them things, some of them-- well that one contract 
was defunct, and then they instead of having us sign new power of attorneys, they just went 
ahead on with the old power of attorneys. But there was so many loopholes in that thing that it 
was pitiful, you know. And if the whole tribe would have got together on that, I mean, they 
would have-- could have broke that contract with no, you know... 
 
Winona Weber  23:13 
Were those the contracts that-- was it set up through the BIA? What-- how did they ask you to 
sign that contract?  
 
Alice Newton  23:24 
They-- there wasn't a contract [?with a?] power of attorney for them to handle it. 
 
Winona Weber  23:28 
Who, the BIA? 
 
Alice Newton  23:29 
The BIA.  
 
Winona Weber  23:33 
And then they made their deals with Rayonier.  
 
Alice Newton  23:36 
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah it was just power of attorneys. And you know, they never did go into detail, 
what the situation was, or anything, all they spoke of was with money, you know. And that's-- 
naturally, that's what we wanted to think about. We all needed that. And the-- see, I don't know 
how many years later this was. But they we just, we just considered it an illegal contract. So we 
just really [?hit on it?] ourselves, you know.  
 
Winona Weber  24:07 
Did the BIA just come in and tell you to sign there? 
 
Alice Newton  24:13 
Yeah. And that we'd be getting money. Yeah. And that, you know, that always [crosstalk].  
 
Friend of Alice  24:20 
That's the speaking word. 
 
Winona Weber  24:20 
They really didn't explain to you what you were giving up by signing this? 
 
Alice Newton  24:25 
No. And I don't know whether they still had the mini contracts or not. I think they were 
available, but I don't know if they sent them out or not. But, you know, besides the power of 
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attorneys. But they front people that came out and told you, you know, that you were-- you 
would get so much money, and whatever.  
 
Friend of Alice  24:49 
Real-- painted real pretty pictures.  
 
Alice Newton  24:52 
Right. Which they're still doing [laughs].  
 
Friend of Alice  24:54 
Yeah, which they still do.  
 
Alice Newton  24:56 
Oh, I know that.  
 
Friend of Alice  24:57 
They're good talkers.  
 
Alice Newton  24:58 
And so we went ahead and logged that. Then our own logging there, and done pretty well. But 
like an Indian, I've never been able to handle my finances, you know? 
 
Winona Weber  25:12 
Well, don't you think part of the reason why, like you say, you've never been able to handle your 
finances is that among the Indians, the family is so important.  
 
Alice Newton  25:26 
Yeah.  
 
Winona Weber  25:27 
You know, if you have money, and your family is hungry, you're supposed to give that money 
[inaudible]. 
 
Alice Newton  25:31 
That's right. That's right. And then drinking, drinking too was a big--  has always been my-- I'm 
an alcoholic, you know. And I'm a periodic alcoholic. You know, I'd drink for quite a while, until 
I-- my health would, you know, make me have to sober up, and then I'd stay sober. I think the 
longest time I stayed sober was two years, from the time I was 18 until I was 47. I think two 
years is the longest I ever stayed sober. And then I went into drugs, you know, diet pills. And 
then I was so hooked on them that it was terrible. I mean, I just wouldn't wish it on anybody. But 
it's just a mixture of trying to do my own business, you know, and with no education, and always 
having to buck, you know, the BIA and the other departments down there. All my life, all I've 
ever done was strive, you know. I just never went along with the stream, you know, I'm always 
bucking it. So, but it's always-- I've always done things that I believed in myself. It's-- my life 
has always been real frustrating and confusing.  
 
Page 13 of 13 
 
Winona Weber  25:36 
Oh, yeah? 
 
Alice Newton  26:48 
But I don't think I ever really had any substance to my life that ever meant anything to me till I 
became a Christian. And then that's when Danny's mother died. And I-- see, she-- her and I were 
closer, I think, than anybody's ever been to me in all my life, you know? Because her and I were 
pushed together all the time when Danny was going out to sea and different things like that. But 
when I found out she was sick, then I kept thinking that I'd find a doctor that could take care of 
her, you know, that would make her well. And I kept telling them, don't worry, Mother, I'll take 
care of you, you know. And then when I-- when they done an exploratory on her and found out 
she was all full of cancer, well, I just dedicated myself to her all the time, you know. And went to 
see her every day. And so when she passed away that-- I didn't-- I knew she was gonna die, but I 
didn't feel-- I knew that I had done everything I could for her, you know. And even one of the 
last things I asked her is anything I can do, and she told me she wanted me to quit drinking and 
quit taking them [?dingy?] pills. And I told her that I would. So, I said after I laid her to rest. And 
after I laid her to rest well then I never-- [?I?] dedicated myself to the Lord and went into this 
work that I'm doing here, you know, with young people and alcoholics. But I did fall off the 
wagon in October this last year. But I was looking-- I was looking to people, not my God, you 
know? You don't do that. So I-- after getting drunk in October, well, I-- before that, I was always 
striving [inaudible] I never was content. But since I got drunk in October, now I'm happy. I 
mean, I'm enjoying my Christian life, you know? I just enjoy it. I just enjoy, you know, doing 
what I can. I don't try to-- oh, I still [inaudible] do, I guess, but I'm kind of satisfied with my life 
now. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 